tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46578752165689981962024-03-14T05:02:06.756-07:00Megan's NestMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-22176576343672963752014-05-24T08:17:00.002-07:002014-05-24T08:17:27.516-07:00Mama GuiltThere you are, playing on your floor mat. And here I am, on my computer. I'm not ignoring you, but I'm not interacting with you, either. When you go to bed, or when I drive away to work, I will feel like I haven't spent enough time with you. I will be flooded by the knowledge that you are growing and changing every day, and that I don't want to miss it. I will battle the mama guilt about whether or not I have made the right choices.<br />Every day I am torn between giving you space to become independent, competent, strong... and giving you attention to know that you are loved. I can't find the middle ground no matter how hard I try. Or maybe I'm found it and just have no solid confirmation, because in parenting, that's a thing that doesn't exist.<br />When you smile at me from across the room, is it a just a smile? Are you happy there? Or are you trying to entice me to come play with you? You don't seem discontent, but you're a baby. The life you have is the only life you know. If you could understand everything, what would you ask for? Would you thank me for letting you discover things on your own? Do you appreciate the time to move freely and concentrate on your toys without interruption? Or are you lonely? You are not one to cry or even fuss unless something is very bad, and even then you calm easily. So maybe you are sad and lonely, missing me even as you play. It sounds overly dramatic to ask if you play with your toys for something to do while you wait for me to come back to you, but I can't help wondering if that is what happens sometimes.<br />And honestly, I need some time to just be. I always want to be with you, I love being with you, but there are things that I need that come from other sources. And yet, I'm gone so much. Every day I go to work and you stay home with daddy, and then I feel like spending even a minute on anything else is squandering our precious time together. But I do it anyway. Because even people like me, whose whole lives are focused on children, who waited and longed for a baby to come to them, who felt bittersweet pangs of emotion every time another person's child told us they loved us... even we need some time to not be responsible for anything. We're still human. But those minutes are paid for in guilt; in fully understanding that every second spent on something else is a second away from this tiny person who rules our hearts, who depends on us and loves us like no other; a person whom we love like no other, and who is constantly changing and needing different things. Because our time isn't our own anymore, even though it is. So those stolen moments are bittersweet, too.<br />I hope that when all is said and done, when you are an adult fully responsible for your own life, you will be glad I made the choices I did. I hope you don't feel like I abandoned you, and only your dad was there when you needed someone. I think that you will, but something like this is too important to be content with uncertainty. And yet I can't know, now, whether or not I am doing the right thing. I can only do my best.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-72845790736902671852014-01-19T12:39:00.002-08:002014-01-19T12:39:20.621-08:00Cloth Diaper Time!Lila will be 4 weeks old on Tuesday and we've been cloth diapering about 75% of the time. We got a cloth diaper trial from our local cloth diapering store, and unfortunately I'm not a big fan of the ones that it included. Good thing there are a ton of different brands to try! We're using the trial diapers, still, while we wait for Lila to grow into her one size diapers. Her waist fits, but her legs are too slender still.<br />
Anyway, we've found a few diapers that work really well for her! I love the Rump-a-Rooz Lil Joey on her, but we only have two because the diapers will only fit until 12 pounds or so. They might last a little longer because she is tall for her weight. But since she was already about 9lbs when we first tried them, and they are $30/2, it seemed silly to buy a bunch of them now. I'd like to get about 10 more when we're ready for number 2, though. They're so soft and easy to use, plus the inner shape seems more comfortable because it is more of a cup than a wrinkly mass of fabric. They're also quite trim, and they have an umbilical cord snap-down which will make them fit our next baby right away without me worrying about irritating the cord stump.<br />
The other diaper I really like on her is the Newborn Blueberry Simplex. They also have a cord snap down. They're a little bigger, but still a good fit with only one leak so far, which was at night and it was perhaps on a little too long. I do change her before I nurse at night, but sometimes she goes 4 or even 5 hours asleep. This diaper is supposed to last until 16 pounds, which is a lot longer than the Lil Joeys. They're a little bit more expensive, about $18 each, but you can buy them singly so it's easier to slowly build up a stash.<br />Both of these diapers are hard to find used, and when I have spotted them they are priced nearly as much as if they were new. It kind of stinks right now, because it's hard to find a good bargain... but I also know they hold their value so when we don't need them anymore we can sell them and get back some of our cost.<br />
I definitely want to try some new kinds of diapers, though, which is kind of the point of this post. I'm entering a bunch of contests, and one of them gives extra entries for sharing the link in a blog post. It's a giveaway for Ella Bella Bum, Glow Bug, and Green Line diapers, none of which I have tried yet. It also includes a prefold diaper and two sets of boingos. Here's the link to the giveaway!<br />http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/576bec12/<br />
<br />Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-79078630873037903722014-01-10T12:32:00.001-08:002014-01-10T12:41:17.052-08:00A day in the Life of a Two Week Old Baby<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This has been Lila's basic schedule for quite a few days now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
5:30 am - start making weird noises in my sleep, but be silent and still whenever mom looks at me. Until she lays back down and can't see me anymore. Then make more weird noises. Appropriate choices include groaning, grunting, coughing, choking sounds, and squeaks. Bonus points for putting them together in the scariest combinations, like coughing, then choking sounds, and then utter silence.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
6:15 am - Mom decides she can't handle the crazy noises and decides if she feeds me I might sleep better. Make faces and squirm while she changes me, then half-heartedly nurse for 30 seconds. Flail around wildly with my baby talons, and punch her in the breast multiple times. Make mouth gape like a fish so Mom thinks I'm still hungry and will put up with this abuse. Repeat for 30 minutes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
6:45 am - Pretend to be asleep. When mom gets settled in bed, start making weird noises again. Repeat until she brings me in the big bed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
7:15 am - am I feeling generous? If so, sleep for an hour or two in the big bed. If not, keep making weird noises until Mom decides she's not going to get any more sleep, and the noises might wake up Dad. When she takes me out to the living room, promptly fall asleep there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
From arrival in the living room to 8:30 pm:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Is mom reading, watching TV, or surfing the internet? Sleep peacefully and wake up occasionally to nurse, then fall right back asleep immediately. Easily accept diaper changes. Generally be adorable, especially while alert.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Is Mom cooking, cleaning, or filling out paperwork? Fuss and demand to nurse, but only for a few minutes at a time. Then fall asleep, but only until Mom puts me down and goes back to what she was doing. Then wake up and demand to nurse again. Accept snuggles from Dad but only for a little while. Then demand to nurse again. When Mom changes my diaper, pee or poop after the old one has been opened but before the new one is in place. Fuss and flail around wildly while Mom tries to clean me and replace my diaper. Still be adorable and melt into Mom's arms while nursing, but don't let her put me down!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
8:30 pm - Get the hiccups. Demand to nurse but instead shake my head around with my mouth open and attack with my little baby fists until Mom manages to shove her nipple in my mouth. Immediately eat like I'm starving for not more than 3 minutes. Fall asleep. Sleep peacefully UNLESS Mom tries to put me down. Then cry. If Mom tries to soothe me without picking me up, cry louder. Accept snuggles from Dad but only for a little while. Then demand to nurse again. Cough, sneeze, and have painful gas that requires constant bouncing or leg pedaling. Generally be miserable, sad, or angry. Continue so for about 3 hours.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
11:30 pm - Finally have gotten enough milk from dozens of attempts at nursing, accept snuggles from Dad, and let Mom go to bed. Fall asleep in his arms but wake up immediately and angrily if he tries to put me down, or after thirty seconds. Whichever comes first. Settle easily but do not sleep for more than a minute. Repeat for at least 30 minutes, up to an hour and a half.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">12:00 - 1:00 am - accept sleep and transfer to bed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2:30 am - Make weird noises until Mom comes to feed me. Eat for 15-30 minutes and fall asleep. Accept transfer to bed. Sleep peacefully until about 5:30.</span>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-42984203631132927812014-01-08T11:56:00.000-08:002014-01-08T11:56:16.198-08:00Becoming a Mother<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yesterday I read <a href="http://www.renegademothering.com/2013/02/09/i-became-a-mother-and-died-to-live/">a beautiful, evocative piece about becoming a mother</a>. And it touched my heart; in many ways it describes my experience. But it also doesn't - in fact, the main concept of the post has not been my experience at all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You see, the post is about how the women we were before giving birth are dead, irretrievably gone; how we will never get that person back. And how, while we are (in most cases) thrilled to become this new person, this <i>mother</i>, it is normal and natural and expected to mourn the loss of those individuals we used to be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I don't feel that way at all. I miss some things about not being a parent, sure. But they are trivial, minute; not even remotely close to the center of my being. They're things like sleeping uninterrupted all night long, or not dousing myself in milk whenever I try to go bra-less. Tiny, unimportant things. Not even on the scale when compared to the wonder of this tiny person that came out of love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I imagine most women don't throw themselves wholeheartedly into this whole motherhood thing until they actually become mothers. That's logical. But me? I have been preparing for this baby my whole life. I was just figuring out how to be a whole person by myself when I met her father, and it was the easiest thing in the world to slip into motherhood. It's like I finally became myself when she was born. Like I hatched, or blossomed. It was something I had been anticipating with barely contained enthusiasm; my only fear was that I would never manage to achieve it.<br />I've written before about how people often used to tell me not to rush into this stage of my life. Clearly they were people who mourned the loss of their old selves, and I don't judge them for that. It's completely understandable; it's just not my experience.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe I missed out on who I could have been; maybe I don't mourn my loss because I wasn't anyone worth mourning. But I don't think of it that way. I think of who I am now as exactly who I was before, plus something undefinable. So maybe, just maybe, the difference for me is that I have always been on this path and never had to take a fork in the road. I'm not missing out on anything because for me, any other path was unthinkable.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She calls it:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23.796875px;">a human, adult reaction to a giant shift in identity, a presence of mind recognizing the end of an entire chapter of life, a heart mourning the woman that once was, and a soul shaking under the weight of a new giant world."</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23.796875px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And for me, it didn't feel like an entire chapter of life, but rather a preface, a prelude to truly becoming. Because in my heart, I was always here. It isn't a new world. It's a world that I've been staring at for years, from outside, delving in shallowly here and there with other people's children, waiting for the day that I could call it home.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23.796875px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And now that I can, no part of me is in mourning. Rather I am celebrating. Quietly, yes, internally. And maybe the day will come that I will mourn. After all, I'm only two weeks into motherhood. But for now, I'll just enjoy it.</span></span>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-63197857837935506012013-09-06T20:27:00.000-07:002013-09-06T20:27:47.248-07:00Privileges and Rights<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Lately
I've been reading about gender and race disparities – prejudices
and privilege and guilt, and what exactly those disparities look
like. Of course it's a bigger issue than I can explore fully, even
given an entire lifetime, so I don't think I've got it all figured
out by any means. But I've noticed that I somehow managed to get out
of experiencing any of it. I'm white, and mid-to-upper middle class,
so that rules out quite a lot of issues right there – but I also
have managed to get out of experiencing gender discrimination even
though as a woman, I am technically a minority. I'm sure I've come
across instances that demonstrated someone thinking women are lesser,
or specifically suited to some tasks and not others, but they weren't
about me. They were about the jerk who has no concept of reality. </span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
know that's not how it is for most people who experience it – in my
scenario, it was isolated instances that don't reflect all, or even
most, of society. Even though I know that there are feminist issues
that have yet to be addressed, they don't really change my life. I am
able to do as I please and demand what I deserve. I'm sure it helps
that my life has followed a traditionally feminine path – I always
planned to get married, to a man, and raise a family. I always
expected that if one of us was going to stay home and take care of
the children, it would be me (a notion which is currently being
re-examined). I chose a career in early childhood education and
childcare, which is one of the few careers that is almost universally
accepted for women even by people who think women belong in the
kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. So even in areas where women
traditionally experience discrimination, I haven't. Mostly because my
desires have cooperated with their expectations (and no, I haven't
been brainwashed by society) – but maybe partially because I just
do as I please. I guess I can thank my parents for raising me in such
a way that I can listen to my inner voice and follow it, without
anxiety, even when others think I'm wrong.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">The
only area where I actually have felt discriminated against was in age
– I got really sick of people thinking I didn't know what I was
talking about just because I was young and looked younger. That
problem has gone away as I've gotten older and gotten more education
– even though my basic attitude and perceptions have not changed. </span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">But
for most people who deal with discrimination, it's not that simple. I
get that as much as someone who hasn't experienced it can. Their
lives are, at times, defined by the way others perceive them and act
toward them. Many people are facing skewed perceptions from multiple
areas – as in, not just gender, race, socioeconomic status, sexual
orientation, age... but a combination of those. And low socioeconomic
status has its own implications for success potential even without
people giving it negative connotations.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">So
life for many people is not the same as life for me. They aren't
perceived by others the way I am, they don't have the opportunities
I've had, and that's a problem. It needs to be changed.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
have been assured that the word “privilege” doesn't have the
connotations I associate with it, but I can't let go of the idea that
a privilege is something that is unearned, undeserved, and
unnecessary. Most of the things people refer to as “white
privilege” are rights that all human beings deserve. Unearned, yes,
but that's kind of the point of rights, isn't it? You don't have to
earn them. You get them for being human. The fact that people are
being denied these rights is not okay (a massive understatement) –
but I don't think we should call it privilege when some people
actually get what they deserve.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">There
is another subset of what is called privilege that I think actually
fits the bill – when someone of a majority group is given special
treatment at the expense of a member of a minority group. That is,
again, not okay. That needs to stop. But that's not usually what
people are talking about when they discuss white privilege. Usually
they're talking about how I can go into a store without people
assuming I'm going to steal something, or how I can assume a police
officer is going to help me instead of suspecting and potentially
taking action against me for no justifiable reason.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
will agree that my race, socioeconomic status, and gender-normative
appearance probably “buy” those “privileges” for me far more
often than I realize. This is an issue, but the issue is not that I
experience that kind of trust/acceptance. It's not what
I have that's the problem. The problem is that not everyone
has what I have. </span>
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">It's
not a privilege issue. It's a rights issue.</span></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-41851247951938348562013-07-30T18:48:00.000-07:002013-07-30T18:48:03.793-07:00A Letter to Single Me<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
read something the other day on Facebook asking what advice readers
would give to themselves in the past, in only two words. Two words
can't convey very much! I chose, "worth waiting"; this
entire letter is what I meant by those two words. Hopefully I'll
remember to do this again in another five or ten years, and write a
letter to newlywed Megan... but for now, here's my letter to Single
Me.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Dear
me,</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Let's
start with “don't worry”. I know the driving force in your live
has been getting your own family, and you will. I promise – and you
can trust me because I'm you.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
know you're afraid it will be impossible to find your husband. I know
you're sick and tired and of people telling you you have plenty of
time and to enjoy your youth while you still have it. I know you are
desperate to feel those little kicks inside you and then to hold your
sweet little baby. I know that just thinking about that moment brings
tears of mixed joy and terror to your eyes – because you're afraid
it's all just a dream, but it's the future that you want with all
your heart.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">So
believe me when I promise that it happens. It happens more easily and
beautifully than you could ever have imagined. It doesn't take years
of dating to know he's the one – for other people, sometimes, but
not you. You get lucky, even though it seems like it's taking forever
to you right now. And it doesn't take years of trying to get
pregnant. You'll hardly try at all and suddenly that sweet little
baby will be growing inside you like the seed of love.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">And
all that worry just disappears. Almost the minute you find him you'll
start to calm down. You'll surprise yourself with your choices and
with your lack of fear. You'll be completely yourself, right from the
beginning; no holding back, no waiting to see if he can really handle
all that affection you can't help but act on. It will shine through
you, and your coworkers will nod knowingly and say you're in love.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">You'll
laugh together every day. You'll be silly and make mistakes and
forgive each other, and the beginning at least will be so easy you'll
be amazed. I know because I'm amazed.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">You
won't believe this, but everything you're feeling really does just
disappear. You'd think that all that fear and anger would leave some
kind of scar, wouldn't you? Maybe it does but if so, it's gone into
hiding, now, for me. For you. Suddenly you'll be content to let
things take their natural path, even though you never were before.
Because once you meet him, you'll know. You won't be afraid of
messing things up, not enough to matter. You'll just enjoy the ride.
Because it really is beautiful. It really is amazing to wake up next
to the person you love, every day, and just know that he loves you,
too.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
know that just before you met him was a rough time in your life. You
were never really happy, just kind of going through the motions. You
couldn't seem to really get a handle on what you needed to find that
happiness. You were just starting to see that taking control of your
life was the key. And then came one of the dates you were looking
forward to, the only one that didn't ultimately end in
disappointment. You began to feel like all you needed was to take
control – to stop feeling powerless – and suddenly everything
else fell into place. It happens, just like that.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Of
course I can't promise everything will be perfect. Of course there
will be money trouble and different solutions to shared problems and
all of that. But you will find that having a partner to work through
it with you makes all the difference. You've suspected that, I know.
But now you'll be sure.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">And
that's what you find – you find a man who understands that loving
each other is only part of the journey, that it sets the foundation
for all of the work that's coming. And he's willing to put in that
work to stay by your side, even though it's been pretty easy so far.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">He's
totally worth waiting for.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Love
always and never fear,</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Megan
in 2013</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<br />
</div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-77686686431084721402013-07-29T10:00:00.000-07:002013-07-29T10:00:06.633-07:00Dating Advice for Our Kids (Part 2)<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Yesterday,
while browsing Pinterest, I came across </span></span></span><a href="http://www.howdoesshe.com/a-letter-every-mother-should-read-to-her-son/"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">this
letter</span></span></span></a><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
that a mother wrote to her son about dating. </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">It
was labeled as, </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">“</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">a</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
letter every mother should read to her son.” </span></span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="color: #231f20; font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Here is the second part of my altered version: I don't know how to start the numbering at 11 so let's just pretend :)</span></span></div>
<ol>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Handle
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>your
date's</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
heart with care. </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>People
(male or female)</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>usually
try to only show when they are</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>
strong</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">,
but </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>inside</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">they
are also </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>very</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
delicate. Don’t ruin that. Do not be responsible for hardening a
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>person's</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
heart.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Get
to know </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>his
or her</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
family </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">and</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
friends, and let your family </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">and</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
friends get to know </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">him
or </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">her.
</span></span></span><em><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">How
they get along and interact with each other can tell you a lot about
what the future will hold if you become serious.</span></span></span></em></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">When
the time comes, tell </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>him
or </i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>her
“</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>I
love you,” but only if you really do. Never, ever, say those words
unless they come from your heart, because they are a very big deal.</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>At
any time, you can tell him or her why you like them –</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
e</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">veryone
deserves to be complimented.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i><span style="font-weight: normal;">Do
nice things;</span></i></span></span></span></strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
make </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>a
meal</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">,
take out </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">the</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
trash, </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>offer
</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>compromises
and so on. Show that you appreciate being together.</i></span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Surprise
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>him
or </i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>her</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">.
Again, a little can go a long way. Just stick with small surprises.
Bring </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>a
little gift like a bottle</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
of </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">his
or </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">her
favorite soda, or show up at </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">his
or </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">her
work for a surprise lunch date.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Never
underestimate the power of the written word. As nice as it is to
hear good things, it’s even better to have them written down so
you can reference back to them. </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">W</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">rite
letters or notes to your love </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>as
</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>often
</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>as
you can</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">When
the time is right </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">and</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
you’ve found that special someone,</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>
</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>know
that it doesn't have to be the man who asks, “will you marry me?”
If you are sure, you can ask no matter your gender. You can also
wait, if you feel more comfortable with that. Choose a course of
action or inaction based on you comfort level, not societal
expectations.</i></span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>S</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>peaking
of societal expectations, if you want to date someone of the
opposite gender, that's okay. If you want to date someone of the
same gender, that's okay, too. If you're not sure which gender you
prefer, date whoever catches your interest when you're available.
Some people may not accept your preference, but it's not up to them.
It's up to you and the person you date.</i></span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>If
someone treats you badly for any reason, they do not belong in your
life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive mistakes (you SHOULD),
it just means you should defend yourself and demand the respect and
compassion that all human beings deserve. If someone you date or
someone you are friends with can't do that, they're not worth your
time.</i></span></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">What dating advice would you write to your kids?</span></span></span></div>
</li>
</ol>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-85230995445478588822013-07-28T21:11:00.000-07:002013-07-28T21:11:19.737-07:00Dating Advice for Our Kids (Part 1)<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Today,
while browsing Pinterest, I came across </span></span></span><a href="http://www.howdoesshe.com/a-letter-every-mother-should-read-to-her-son/"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">this
letter</span></span></span></a><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
that a mother wrote to her son about dating. </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">It
was labeled as, </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">“</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">a</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
letter every mother should read to her son.” </span></span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
appreciated the sentiment. It was very clear that </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">this
mother's</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
purpose was to teach her sons how to respect and honor the women they
date, and to do so in line with their family values. </span></span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
really felt that something was missing, though. What if they </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">and</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
their date prefer to step outside of the gender stereotypes about
dating? So I changed the letter to reflect the advice I would/will
give to </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">our
children, male or female. </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
left the original text plain, and added my changes in italics; some
parts I simply deleted. </span></span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">This
was a long post, so I split it into two segments. Here are the first
ten pieces of advice:</span></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<ol>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>If
you want to go on a date with someone, ask them.</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
Straight forward & direct. </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>If
you can ask in person, that's always best. </i></span></span></span>
</div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i><span style="font-weight: normal;">At
least for the first date, actually go somewhere. </span></i></span></span></span></strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
It doesn’t have to be fancy or elaborate or immensely creative.
Sometimes the best dates are simple, like a picnic in the park. </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>Try
to make sure your date is having at least as much fun as you are –
if he or she looks bored, suggest a change of plans.</i></span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i><span style="font-weight: normal;">f
your date opens the door for you, thank him or her. It's always okay
to open the door for someone and your date will probably appreciate
it.</span></i></span></span></span></strong></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>P</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>lan
to</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
p</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">ay
for your date –</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>have
enough money to cover both meals and the tip if you're going to a
restaurant</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">.
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>If
the person you go out with offers to pay, that's great, too, and you
can certainly accept graciously. But don't expect the other person
to pay for or plan every date you go on. If you choose to pay for
every date, make sure the person you're dating is comfortable with
it and doesn't feel like they're taking advantage of you.</i></span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i><span style="font-weight: normal;">If
you are the one driving,</span></i></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">
w</span></span></span></span></strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">alk
to the door to pick up your date. Never text from the car or </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">honk</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">!
</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>Always
</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>get
out of the car to say goodbye, and watch to make sure your date gets
inside safely. It's also nice to</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
walk your date to the door at the end of the night.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Use
your good senses when it comes to kissing. </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>Only
kiss someone you want to kiss, and follow their cues to make sure
they want to kiss you, too.</i></span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Listen
to your date. The best dates involve getting to know the other
person, so take your date somewhere that will allow you to talk. Ask
questions </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">and</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
share insight about yourself. The purpose of dating is to find
someone you could spend your future with. So the longer you date a
person, the more you should get to know </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>him
or</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">her.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Always
make your intentions clear. If you aren’t clicking with </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>someone</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">then
end it. Don’t string </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>him
or her</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
along. It may hurt for a minute but </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>he
or</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>
she</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
will appreciate your honesty. And if you are feeling a connection
then let </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>the
person</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
know. </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>Everyone</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
loves clarity. It will make the whole dating process easier if you
follow this one simple rule.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Date
around, but only seriously date one </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>person</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
at a time. Once you’ve found </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>someone</i></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">you
are interested in </span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">enough
to</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">date</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
exclusive</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">ly</span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">,
be faithful. Always, always be faithful. If you decide things aren’t
working out or you meet someone else you’d like to get to know,
refer back to rule #8.</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i><span style="font-weight: normal;">Don't
be afraid to show your</span></i></span></span></span></strong><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>
</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>affection
through touch, but make sure you don't crowd your date's boundaries</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>.</i></span></span></span><em><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>
</i></span></span></span></em><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Hold
hands, kiss </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">his
or </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">her
head; these sweet gestures speak volumes </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">and</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
make a </span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">person</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">
feel cared for. Going too far physically can never be undone</span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>
</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>so
take it slowly and make sure you're both comfortable before you do
anything serious</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><i>.</i></span></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #231f20;"><span style="font-family: TR Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Check out Part Two tomorrow!</span></span></span></div>
</li>
</ol>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-58997333930589648482013-07-20T22:25:00.000-07:002013-07-20T22:25:22.514-07:00Updates!<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I'm
not sure how much I've dropped in recent posts about how much my life
has changed in the last year, so here's a basic update for everyone.</span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">1)
I met an amazing man, and we're engaged. We're also expecting our
first child in late December, who will be approximately 3 months old
by the time we get married in March. We did get engaged before I got
pregnant, if that matters to anyone.</span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">2)
I am no longer working at Dynamite, or even living in Phoenix. Dylan
and I moved to Northern California and I'm working at a new school,
which I adore, and we're as happy as ever.</span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">3)
Our new apartment is a lot smaller, and I'll probably be writing
about its quirks pretty soon. There are going to be a lot of things
we look back on and laugh about; I know it already.</span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">4)
I'm going to continue to write about whatever is on my mind at the
moment, usually things that I want to change, or things that I love
and want to share with others. My posts will probably continue to be
sporadic and erratic.</span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">5)
It's likely that I will have some posts relating to atheism,
religion, and Christian privilege. Though I don't identify as an
atheist I do have some experience with Christian privilege, and being
engaged to an atheist blogger has broadened my horizons as to exactly
how prevalent it is. This does not mean I am judging all Christians
and it does not mean I am anti-Christianity.</span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">6)
I'm super excited about becoming a wife and mother! I'll probably
talk about birthing and child-rearing and breastfeeding and stuff,
and there might be some overlap with my other blog, <a href="http://montessorimoments-dynamite.blogspot.com/">MontessoriMoments</a>.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-69634902853018416942013-07-13T18:19:00.000-07:002013-07-13T18:19:25.702-07:00Wrong on the Internet - No Innocent Bystanders<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Recently
an actor I adore posted on Facebook that he had just avoided getting
into a “someone is wrong on the internet” discussion. If you're
not familiar with that phrase, it's usually used by people who think
that we should avoid getting into comment wars with people with whom
we disagree. Because someone is always "wrong" on the
internet, we shouldn't waste our time and energy arguing with them,
especially since it is unlikely that we will actually change anyone's
mind.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">If
you know me at all, you know I disagree with that.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
think it's really important that I share what I believe to be true,
and what I know. I may not always be right, but I do know that some
statements, ideas, and concepts are without a doubt wrong. I am not
of the school of philosophy that says there is only gray, and no
black and white – although I do realize that there is far more gray
than either extreme. I also know that some people are very strongly
advocating for things I know and/or believe to be wrong –
especially in areas such as human rights, and particularly relating
to children.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Now,
I know sometimes, maybe even most often, people use that phrase to
mean we shouldn't quibble about unimportant things like the exact
wording of a statement or the exact statistic when the posted one was
only a tenth of a percentage off. That, I agree with; it's not a big
deal. But it's also not the kind of thing people usually get into
comment wars over, unless I spend less time on the internet than I
think I do and don't have a fair basis for comparison. Anyway, that's
not my point; that's not what I'm arguing to defend. </span></span>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhape_VPxOCiZ-g4feTma4oafLDdTdljTNaQQ86mt3vid-lEAdC3tNI07xyB_k2vGEfFsw7NKZIgDF3U1fYtXgJEq_y6qqt1evR75jUYgGY26oGE-FMrQTnGs2-74IgSk1wjtwL6FyoUPE/s1600/innocent_bystanders.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhape_VPxOCiZ-g4feTma4oafLDdTdljTNaQQ86mt3vid-lEAdC3tNI07xyB_k2vGEfFsw7NKZIgDF3U1fYtXgJEq_y6qqt1evR75jUYgGY26oGE-FMrQTnGs2-74IgSk1wjtwL6FyoUPE/s320/innocent_bystanders.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
think it is critical to speak out against things which harm others,
and to advocate for things which benefit others. I think human beings
have a moral obligation to make the world a better place, and while
we all have different ways to do that, sharing what we know is one
way that every person can contribute. I also think it is ridiculous
to sit quietly while people promote inequality, physical violence, or
other equally reprehensible ideas, because <i>there</i> <i>are no
innocent bystanders</i>. If I choose not to speak out, I am
encouraging those who, through word or deed, cause harm to other
people. That includes when people have misguided ideas and just need
the correct information (correct being determined by the most current
research on the topic, and how definitive that research is, not by
opinion).</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I
say speak out! Make your voice heard, so it's not just the voices of
the bigots and jerks that seem to form public opinion. You probably
won't change their minds specifically, but you can at least help
other like-minded people know they are not alone, and encourage
people to look into things for themselves. There are a lot of lurkers
on the internet who just might be influenced by your statements,
especially if you share them in a compassionate and logical way. But
if you keep silent when the majority of speakers are against you, you
are not even fighting for equal footing. You are letting them win.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Just
as an FYI, two of the things I think it is critical to speak out
about include equal rights for all human beings and child rearing
techniques. The first, right now, I most often hear discussed in
terms of sexual orientation and marriage law, or rights for women in
other countries (and to a lesser extent, the U.S.). That's important
to me because I have an innate sense of justice which is highly
offended when I see people mistreating others. The second speaks
mostly to ideas regarding physical discipline, with which I disagree
on both a moral and scientific level, and other ideas to a lesser
extent. Child rearing is a particularly important topic to me because
children cannot advocate for themselves, and this is an area in which
I have a lot of education and a lot of experience. I know a lot of
people are struggling to figure out what's right, and a lot of people
are just doing what their parents did without any idea that current
research suggests there might be a better way.</span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">What
do you speak out for or against? </span></span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Is
there anything about which you feel passionately, but haven't had the
courage or inclination to discuss online? </span></span>
</div>
<br />
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.25in;">
<br />
</div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-18638945231782926482013-04-15T18:36:00.002-07:002013-04-15T18:36:34.990-07:00God IS Allowed in Schools<br />
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Recently I have been seeing a
lot about how “God isn't allowed in school.” Unfortunately, the
people that post or say things like that mean for it to say that
school violence wouldn't happen if God was “allowed”. There are a
few problems with that mindset, and I don't think the people who say
it realize the inherent contradiction.</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7lTGQY4QT7vVoRAlpaP9E3qRVc6Qef6rtp_G6uo-pBWlyBNIJmhOjgO2s2ZNJl2RUuDp5-KeB-FW0jmdtlkBZYjn5KbMJz9-lHkB4qGdUb4XyG96D7byt5vzOHmGXipg8iKHrZM0mXQ/s1600/god_in_schools.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7lTGQY4QT7vVoRAlpaP9E3qRVc6Qef6rtp_G6uo-pBWlyBNIJmhOjgO2s2ZNJl2RUuDp5-KeB-FW0jmdtlkBZYjn5KbMJz9-lHkB4qGdUb4XyG96D7byt5vzOHmGXipg8iKHrZM0mXQ/s320/god_in_schools.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Um, what?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">First of all, religion is
absolutely allowed in schools, as long as it is kept as an individual
experience or shared by those who already possess the same faith,
such as a group of students forming a religious club. Both employees
and students are allowed to carry religious documents (such as the
bible), wear religious paraphernalia (such as crosses), and pray at
any time to any deity. Private schools are allowed to be fully
religious institutions if they choose to do so. What is NOT allowed
is for government funded employees to proselytize to impressionable
children, using tax funded space and materials. That is a basic
necessity to maintain the separation of church and state.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Why is that separation
important? In and of itself it is defying a basic freedom: the right
to decide for oneself what to believe. Beyond that it has many more
repercussions; if one religion were endorsed by the government we
would all have to follow the tenets of it, regardless of whether or
not it was our own religion. Think for a moment about all the things
you have heard about others doing, for their religion, that you would
never even consider. Would you give up electricity? </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Usually the people arguing
for this are Christian, and it never occurs to them that the
“government religion” might not turn out to be Christianity...
but I guarantee that if any other religion were taught in public
schools they would be outraged, and rightfully so – because it
would directly conflict with the personal choice of faith, a choice
the government guarantees to all people. NO religion should be taught
or endorsed over any other, when taxes from people of all beliefs are
funding the program. Therefore it is contradictory to say,
simultaneously, that you want religion in school and that you believe
in religious freedom.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I also want to address the
idea that people “not allowing God in school” would have any
effect. Isn't God supposed to be all powerful? Since when did
non-believers have any effect on what God can and cannot do? And if
God will support and protect those who believe in him, and who pray
for forgiveness for their “sins”, isn't he failing his promise to
them by letting non-believers “keep him out”? That doesn't seem
like an all-powerful and all-benevolent deity to me. No. If there is
a God, he chose not to intervene for reasons of his own. Tragedies
happen in places where god <i>is</i> “allowed”, all the time; in
fact, it happens far more in other places than it does in schools.
Doesn't that speak against their whole premise?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Anyway, the point is that a
government sponsored institution cannot include anything religious
because it will always be a belief not shared by some of the public
that same government represents. We are all guaranteed our freedom to
believe what we want to believe, regardless of whether or not it is
what the majority believe.</span></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-70050950985649127062013-02-08T18:45:00.000-08:002013-02-08T18:45:12.742-08:00Oh Really? God is Pro-life? Prove it.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQTZ4mead-pXzp0Fp2klN4ThdnToweBKBvCTd27CCSZvG4H-dNJPeA4AL-eAfj3TTyqE5x6ehz9diazjF8hgk8ReDhrnj_4etq7BZ3tRkLEH5w149jVV-33trQdnfdrM95zzuq4cZR0T4/s1600/godisnotprolife1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQTZ4mead-pXzp0Fp2klN4ThdnToweBKBvCTd27CCSZvG4H-dNJPeA4AL-eAfj3TTyqE5x6ehz9diazjF8hgk8ReDhrnj_4etq7BZ3tRkLEH5w149jVV-33trQdnfdrM95zzuq4cZR0T4/s200/godisnotprolife1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.27in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">There are certain things that
I hear or read that really rub me the wrong way; things that
immediately strike me as being wrong, but are, in my opinion, so
obviously wrong that it takes conscious thought to figure out why.
One of these statements is, “God is pro-life.”</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.27in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">It seems to me that there are
a lot of flaws with this argument even if you are a deeply religious
Christian. I'm not terribly familiar with the bible, but I do know
that a lot of people die, with God's express approval. I know there
are stories where he has demanded the death of innocent people, and
in fact the most basic claim of Christianity is that Jesus – an
innocent, godly man that we're all supposed to model our behavior
after – died for our sins.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.27in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">This does not argue that God
is pro-life, not even for innocent people. He certainly isn't for
keeping sinners alive, not if you believe in the bible. It's full of
stories of people doing the wrong thing and getting killed for it. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.27in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Of course, in the pro-life
argument, they're specifically talking about unborn children, who
most people agree are innocent (though maybe not the people who
believe in original sin - I don't know about that). In many cases that innocence is used as a
reason not to “kill” them. So let's talk about innocents in terms
of living and dying, and with the concept of God as the all-powerful
creator in our minds.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.27in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Babies are stillborn or
miscarried all the time, even though, today, we have better survival rates
than ever before. And this is not limited to human beings, but
experienced by every species that gives live birth. In species that
lay eggs, some of the eggs never hatch, even when they've been
fertilized. The fact that it happens to all species indicates that it
is not some kind of punishment for the sins of humans, so that
argument is out the window. And God-the-creator is, by definition,
the one who made us the way we are. So if he was against pregnancies
being terminated prematurely, why would that happen naturally? As an
all-powerful deity, he could easily have made that impossible.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.27in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">But I think the worst part is
that those same people are the ones who claim that God is
inscrutable; that it is impossible for human beings to understand why
God does what he does... and yet claim to know what he wants, without
being expressly told. Unless I am mistaken, and somewhere in the
bible it says God hates abortions, but I think it would be quoted all
over the place it that were the case.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.27in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">No, I think their best chance
is to say that it should be God's decision; that we shouldn't play
God. It's a simple opinion (one which has been used to fight all
kinds of scientific developments), so it can't really be refuted –
that makes it the only tactic that has any chance of success, because
anyone who says “God is pro-life” certainly won't argue on pure
moral or logical grounds. Even if they could win.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.27in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 150%; text-indent: 0.27in;">As a final note, let me say
that I personally will never have an abortion. But that doesn't matter; it's completely beside the point... because this isn't a
pro-choice argument. It's simply a criticism of the statement “God is
pro-life”, because I don't think people should ascribe their own feelings to a deity which is (according to humans) inscrutable by nature.</span></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-22469944058481536102013-02-05T19:59:00.000-08:002013-02-05T19:59:31.294-08:00Wasted Youth... or Not...<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 150%; text-indent: 24.959999084472656px;">I</span><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 150%; text-indent: 0.26in;">'ve known what I wanted out
of life since I was 16. I wasn't exactly sure how to get there,
because my career – which is usually a fairly cut and dry thing to
achieve – wasn't important. I didn't care about seeing the world,
or partying, or “making the most of my youth” like so many
people. No, what I wanted was a husband and children. That's not
something you can make a plan for and just follow the steps until you
get there.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I knew I wasn't going to get
it right away – after all, I was 16 when I figured this out. I
decided school and work could take precedence for a while, until I
found the right person and we decided the rest of it together. But I
was never shy about sharing what I wanted, and I got the same kind of
response from almost everyone who heard me.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">
</span>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #ff8080;"><span style="font-family: Learning Curve;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">You've
got plenty of time. </span></span></span> <span style="color: #9999ff;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Don't
be in such a hurry!</span></span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;">
</span></span>
</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #33cc66;"><span style="font-family: Chiller, fantasy;"><span style="font-size: 32pt;">Have
some fun first!</span></span></span> <span style="color: #ffd320;"><span style="font-family: Broadway, fantasy;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Travel;
see the world before you settle down.</span></span></span> </span>
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4b1f6f;"><span style="font-family: Brush Script MT, cursive;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">I
love my kids but I wish I had waited longer before having them.</span></span></span>
</span>
</div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #c5000b;"><span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS, cursive;"><span style="font-size: large;">Don't
waste your youth like I did!</span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Those responses always made
me angry, because I was sick of people assuming they knew what would
make me happy better than I did. It has been 12 years since then, and
I am still unmarried and without children – but not because I
decided they were right. No, if I had met the right guy at 18, or 21,
or any of the other years in between, if we had settled down together
and started a family, I wouldn't regret it. I would be thrilled.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">The truth is that I don't
have those things yet because I've been responsible. I wanted a
husband and children, yes, but I wanted to do it right. I still do. I
could have slept around, and not used protection, and gotten pregnant
when I was a teenager. That's pretty easy for a girl to do, and fun,
too. I could have gotten a guy to marry me, if I wasn't picky about
finding the <i>right</i> guy. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">But when you <i>know</i> what
you want, you know how you want it to happen, and I knew I didn't
want to marry the wrong person and end up divorced, single parenting
all those bundles of joy. I didn't want my kids to all have different
fathers. Maybe it works for some people... but it's not for me. And I
knew that when I was 16, just as I know it now.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">It's been a while since I've
heard those platitudes, since I'm now 28. I'm a lot more likely to
hear that I shouldn't wait too much longer (which is also stupid,
because if I could have had it all by now – the right way – I
would have). But I heard that last one – don't waste your youth
like I did – in a song I was listening to. It brought back all my
old feelings about that statement, and I realized there's a lot more
to it than people arrogantly assuming I don't know what I want for my
life. The big problem is that those kinds of statements sound
incredibly selfish.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">People who refer to settling
down young as wasting your youth are basically saying that having fun
is more important than having a family – at least while you're
young and have energy. Don't waste your energy on those tiny human
beings, no! They don't need your attention the way Las Vegas does. Or
Italy. Or Mexico. Those are much more valuable things to spend your
energy on. <span style="color: black;"><i><b>Not. </b></i></span></span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">It
also implies that having a family isn't fun. I know that having
children is hard work, and life is </span><span style="color: black;">certainly
</span><span style="color: black;">simpler
without them. But I also know that being with children gives you a
special kind of joy that nothing else in the world can equal. I know
that tickle fights and story time </span><span style="color: black;"><i>are</i></span><span style="color: black;">
fun. </span><span style="color: black;">And
I know this </span><span style="color: black;"><i>through
other people's children</i></span><span style="color: black;">,
so I can only assume that when you're sharing those moments with a
sweet little child who grew inside you, the moments are even more
precious.</span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I'm sure some of those people
meant to say, “get settled so you can provide for them better.”
Or perhaps, “give yourself time to mature, because parenting is
hard work.” But even those kind of irk me – because it's clear
that they didn't take <i>who I am</i> into account when making those
statements. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I started babysitting when I
was 12. Every job I ever had was taking care of children in some form
or another, and in all different situations, too; typical children
and special needs children, individually or in groups, organized
activities and free-for-all parties. By the time I was 18 I had more
experience with children, and more knowledge about how to care for
them, than most of the parents I meet who are having their first
child at 26, 28, or 30. I had been CPR and first aid certified for
years. By my early 20s I knew how to install a car seat properly, I
was taking my Montessori training, and I was well-read about such
topics as breastfeeding and positive discipline. Yet I was still
hearing those words.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I know that those pieces of
knowledge are exceptional to have at those ages. I know that, to many
people, that rarity is reason enough to say those things – because
I am the exception, not the rule, when it comes to wanting a family
when you're young. But who else are they saying that to? How many
other people really <i>do</i> know what they want, and whose
self-knowledge is constantly being belittled?</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><b>And when did having children
become a waste of time, at any age? </b></span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">This is the exact opposite of
what women used to hear, by the way. Having a career was, at that
time, a required second to the family – if it even showed up on the
radar at all. It was perfectly acceptable to be a homemaker and never
get any kind of outside job, and a woman who put her career first or
never even had kids was considered very strange. Lesser than those
who followed the norm. Now it's the exact opposite. I say, stop
telling other people how to live their lives.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">No one knows what life path
will make someone else happy. It's true that we don't always know,
ourselves; that life throws inexplicably wonderful surprises at us,
but each individual has a better chance to know what will bring him
happiness than any outsider ever could. So instead of trying to
control someone's choice, help them see the variables so they can
make an informed choice and weather the challenges. That's how you
can really help them.</span></div>
</span></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-37511233699095543502013-01-29T18:54:00.001-08:002013-01-29T18:54:32.106-08:00Preface to Future Posts<br />
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">My horizons have been
expanding lately, and so I've started writing about things I've never
really considered before. I'm sure that very few, if any, of my
arguments are original... but they're new to me and clearly they
haven't been said often enough, or to the right people, or something.
Because if they had, I wouldn't have encountered the situations that
made me think of them. If that makes any sense at all.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">So if what I write in the
next few posts seems old hat to you, please bear with me. A lot of
this is new to me and I'm just figuring out what I think about it
all. But you'll be seeing a lot of posts about things that need to
change – because if you know me at all, you know I can't shut up
when I think something is wrong.</span></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-54036604412555901292013-01-29T18:36:00.001-08:002013-01-30T13:47:51.364-08:00Morals and Religiocentrism<br />
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">My boyfriend Dylan is an
atheist and a skeptic. Since those words define a big part of his
life, when I try to describe him those are some of the first words I
use. However, I've started to recognize a pattern in the responses of
others when they hear those (to me) innocuous words; when I say
“atheist”, they often hear “person without morals”. The first
few times I heard a response indicating this concern (to one degree
or another), I was pretty much just baffled and wanted to defend
him... but after hearing it a few times I started to really think
about it. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">To me, it just seemed kind of
jerky and religiocentric at first glance. But the implications are
chilling. The fact that this association is so common says something
– something bad – about our ability, as a culture, to take
personal responsibility. Instead of being willing to make their own
decisions, to really think through their actions and be ready to
explain or defend them (or make amends) should the need arise, a
great many people are content to simply do as they are told. Not only
are they <i>content</i> to do so, but they consider it <i>morally
superior</i>. While I can intellectually understand that this is
based on the belief that God is morally superior to human beings, I
think it is an incredibly slippery slope. If people are consciously
seeking an outside source for moral correctness, one which they
consider infallible (as God is supposed to be, by his very nature),
then they are: </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">a) not practicing small
decisions about morality – the results of which inform bigger, more
important decisions, and</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">b) giving up all personal
responsibility for their actions.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">This means that those people
are actively promoting a culture in which individuals are less able
to make morally correct decisions, more able to place blame, and more
willing to accept the dictates of an authority figure without first
judging the merits of said dictates. A strong leader could very
easily take that culture and bring ordinary people to do incredibly
<i>immoral</i> things under the guise of being <i>moral</i>. They
wouldn't know how to judge for themselves. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Is that not terrifying?
Especially when you think of how
that has played out historically.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I guess the best thing to
hope for is that those people are only making logical errors instead
of projecting their own flaws on others. If that is the case, then
most of them should be able to think for themselves in any
extraordinary event, and behave in a moral way... but history doesn't
support that hope.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I suppose I have been guilty
of believing that our society is more morally advanced than ever
before, when the more likely explanation is that technological
advances and a strong government have caused our moral decisions to
be fewer and easier than they could be.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">By the way, Dylan is also a
blogger – one who actually writes regularly and takes his blogging
responsibilities much more seriously than I do – and you can read
his work at <a href="http://www.skeptimusprime.com/">www.</a><a href="http://www.skeptimusprime.com/">skeptimusprime.</a><a href="http://www.skeptimusprime.com/">com</a>. </span>
</div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-86824486668862465872013-01-12T13:51:00.000-08:002013-01-12T13:51:42.743-08:00Birthday "Cake" Tutorial<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;">Recently
I was asked to bring a birthday craft to my babysitting job, so we
could celebrate the twin boys turning 8 (They also have an older
sister). I usually pick up crafting supplies for babysitting at the
</span><span style="color: black;">D</span><span style="color: black;">ollar
</span><span style="color: black;">Tree</span><span style="color: black;">,
because if I spend a lot on materials I end up basically working for
free – and while I love the kids, a girl's gotta make a living. </span></span></span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;">I</span><span style="color: black;">'ve
always</span><span style="color: black;">
love</span><span style="color: black;">d</span><span style="color: black;">
the idea of using a candle</span><span style="color: black;">stick</span><span style="color: black;">
as a pedestal for a plate or a bowl, and when I hit that section </span><span style="color: black;">at
the Dollar Tree </span><span style="color: black;">my
eyes always pull together all the candle and vase things to see what
would look pretty together. This time it occurred to me that a small,
flat, round candle holder on top of the pedestal would make a cute
cake stand and it hit me – crafty birthday cakes!</span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Materials:</b></span></span></span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">A
candlestick ($1)</span></span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A
small plate or flat candle holder (<span style="color: black;">$1)</span></span></span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">A
set of 2 styrofoam circles ($1 – I found these with the floral
supplies)</span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">A
few birthday candles ($1 or on hand)</span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Acrylic
paint and paintbrushes (on hand)</span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Hot
glue or E-6000 ($2 and up, or on hand. I used hot glue, but I think
E-6000 is washable?)</span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Procedure:</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Glue
together the two styrofoam disks, and g</span><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;">lue the top of the candlestick to the bottom of the plate. I just eyeballed it but you could measure and trace from the center if you want it to be perfect. I didn't take a picture of this part, but I think it's pretty self explanatory.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUkx1gxrMh5FRUocFbHjF4eVsFlIickii7npV0U5xtrezsmSr8J7lS27NMWFBd700kqZu5mZ_oihfGz-vqqCNJk5xilE4M_1-V0E41eatquvYUn6nSdubUzT5rTrigjCw957axGxkp83c/s1600/0111131926.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUkx1gxrMh5FRUocFbHjF4eVsFlIickii7npV0U5xtrezsmSr8J7lS27NMWFBd700kqZu5mZ_oihfGz-vqqCNJk5xilE4M_1-V0E41eatquvYUn6nSdubUzT5rTrigjCw957axGxkp83c/s320/0111131926.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The styrofoam is already glued, and now we're adding our base coat of "frosting".</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Paint the cake however you like. I went with a base coat of blue paint and some simple pink dots, but the kids did swirly patterns, smiley faces, letters, even a monkey! If you want the “icing” to be 3-dimensional, you can hot glue the pattern and paint over it, or use puffy fabric paint. One of the boys added some sequins to his cake.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitdYYiuouezmQqqVbnRQGiDSLtT7CiZtkxFGuddLW1A6yqQmnOOnIl4SNwuKLsE0qBru8jyxT0L_rtcfwwcgAC9inMWkzN7HWicW1IoCgQz_Uks5HTvcfUlLt9s-vl7ukJZZPGXas1Hlc/s1600/painting_and_adding_candles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitdYYiuouezmQqqVbnRQGiDSLtT7CiZtkxFGuddLW1A6yqQmnOOnIl4SNwuKLsE0qBru8jyxT0L_rtcfwwcgAC9inMWkzN7HWicW1IoCgQz_Uks5HTvcfUlLt9s-vl7ukJZZPGXas1Hlc/s400/painting_and_adding_candles.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Painting the "cakes" and adding candles. Almost done!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Decide where you want your candles and press them firmly into the styrofoam. We had no trouble, but if you used a lot of paint you might have to poke a hole first with something sharp to get the candles in, or poke them in while the paint is still wet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOdv1FNPnyUGwrSs4S7y-mHyFROuMJOAQZ1WdpSE5Kb6WwwLqmrRmTc3aG_G3bOkrtm_nRoNbpnKLnwTuDm0Z2FCFuKJ3zlloBndDmfp_ARSFo6qmbm0w0HJofXqUhQGLuWhn3FJadfzs/s1600/0111132105.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOdv1FNPnyUGwrSs4S7y-mHyFROuMJOAQZ1WdpSE5Kb6WwwLqmrRmTc3aG_G3bOkrtm_nRoNbpnKLnwTuDm0Z2FCFuKJ3zlloBndDmfp_ARSFo6qmbm0w0HJofXqUhQGLuWhn3FJadfzs/s320/0111132105.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The finished "cakes". They look good enough to eat!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Put
the cakes on their stands and admire! Aren't they cute?</span></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-32755492394829820502012-12-22T18:33:00.000-08:002012-12-22T18:33:26.439-08:00Easy vs. Right<br />
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“<span style="font-family: Learning Curve;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>I
don't understand why anyone wants 'the right' to bear arms.”</b></span></span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“<span style="font-family: Impact, sans-serif;">You
have to be mentally unstable to want that 'right' anyway, by
definition.”</span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
“<span style="font-family: Harlow Solid Italic, fantasy;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why
does anyone even want to own a gun in the first place?”</span></span></div>
<div align="CENTER" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Harlow Solid Italic, fantasy;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">These are all comments that
I've seen regarding the right to bear arms. I've written about guns
before, a little blurb in <a href="http://megansnest.blogspot.com/2012/12/sympathy-and-outrage-make-people-little.html">my last post</a>, but I feel like I need to
write more because it seems that there is a gradually prevailing
opinion that gun owners are dangerous and unstable.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Let me start by saying that I
completely understand how scary guns can be. As a child, if I was
watching TV with my parents and a gun came on the screen, I would get
up and leave the room. I did this well into my teenage years – I
was terrified by them. I still do not own a gun, and I have never
fired one or even held one. But I believe this is something I need to
remedy.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">See, historically, guns were
a way to not only protect oneself, but also to provide food for one's
family. Back in the days when people were predominantly
self-sufficient, a gun and ammunition could make the difference
between surviving the winter and starving – and not just for an
individual, but for an entire family. Although this level of
dependence on hunting for food has almost disappeared, it still
exists for some families in rural areas. Are they “mentally
unstable”? I don't think so. Honestly, I respect them for being
able to provide for themselves without a grocery store. Not many of
us can do that.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I've also read that the
average city can only go a few days without the incoming
transportation of food. In a situation like that, the size of one's
community shrinks rapidly. People don't care about their neighbors
anymore – they don't feel like they can afford to be generous,
because if it's not freely available then it must be saved for their
families. Or taken for their families. The balance of power without
weapons is based almost entirely on physical size and strength, or
some form of unarmed fighting technique, which most Americans do not
have. But if a ninety-pound woman has a firearm, then a
two-hundred-pound man can no longer take her food from her, unless
she gives it freely. Of course, in order for it to act as an
equalizer, she needs to know how to use it confidently. She must have
practiced with it in times of peace, when others might consider her
“mentally unstable”, so that it is available for her if/when she
needs it.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Speaking historically again,
we live in the safest time period ever recorded, which is why I don't
really understand people who talk about how things are getting “so
out of control”. Violent acts only make the news because they are
so rare, in terms of percentage. Most people I know have never had a
violent act committed against them, and even those that have
experienced violence have lived in safety for the vast majority of
their lives. Violent seem prevalent simply because there are so very
many of us.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I think the thing that
bothers me the most is that people don't seem to care about being
self sufficient anymore. Their argument is based on fear, but this is
contradictory to what they say they want. If we rely on others, i.e.,
the government, to meet our needs, then we are no longer able to meet
our own needs. What would happen if we stepped outside the realm of
government protection? What if the government collapsed, or we were
invaded by another country and everything were thrown into chaos?
What if the government continued to become more powerful and decided
we didn't need the things it was supposed to provide? I grant that
these scenarios are not likely, but they are possible. And the more
we give away our rights, the more we give up our control to others,
the more likely they become.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Our forefathers wanted us to
be prepared to hold a revolution. They had personally experienced a
government with too much control, and they wanted to prepare us to
win our freedom again if need be. If they were to see us now,
constantly dependent upon others to meet our most basic needs, I
think they would be disgusted. They would be disgusted at not only
the way we need to be taken care of, as adults, but also the way we
are raising our children to do the same.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I believe that even if you
choose not to own a gun, you should learn how to properly care for
one. Know how to load and unload it, know how to clean it, and know
how to fire it. Be able to ascertain that a gun is unloaded. And
teach your children proper gun safety, too, even if you think they
aren't in contact with guns, because you never know what they will
discover at a friend's house. Knowing safe procedures cannot possibly
cause worse damage than knowing nothing and doing it anyway.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Believe me, I get it. The
guns of today are not the same as the firearms used when the second
amendment was written. But when we're talking about using them as an
equalizer, and being prepared to revolt if need be (however unlikely
it seems right now), why would we want to place all the power in the
hands of the very people we might need to defend ourselves against?
The only reason I can think of is because we've chosen safety over
freedom. That is not the choice I would make, for me <i>or</i> for my
future children, and it is not the foundation on which this country
was built. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Better to focus on helping
people not <i>want</i> to hurt or kill others – because, I'll say
it again, criminals don't follow the law. Antisocial behavior is the
hallmark of someone who needs help, not a well-adjusted person.
Therefore, rather than trying to limit the freedoms of honest,
well-meaning citizens, we should be trying to help the
mentally-unstable become stable. It's a lot more difficult than just
taking away all the guns, but it will lead to a healthier society all
the way around.</span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">My experience with children
has shown me that the easier way is rarely the right way. For
example, spanking a kid might get them to comply with you in the
short term, but it also leads to more violent behavior and lack of
respect for authority (because fear is not the same as respect).
Children who regularly experience corporal punishment tend to follow
the rules only when an authority figure is present, or, in more
extreme cases, when they are so cowed by fear that they are
psychologically damaged. Punishment and reward systems, in general,
consistently devalue the very behaviors we wish to encourage. And
yet, these are the easier ways to parent (at least in the short
term), and so they are commonly implemented. But these methods are
only effective in the short term, and cause exactly the opposite of
the desired effect, in the long term. Then people wonder why so many
adults are in therapy; why people have violent and antisocial
behaviors; why people hurt, and why they hurt each other. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">And this is the model we are
trying to implement with adults? Because it works so well with the
children, right? </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">No. The easy thing is rarely
the right thing, and gun control is no exception. In this matter we
seem to be a nation of cowards – we need to man up and do it right.
And the place to start is by helping people raise this generation of
children to be mentally healthy. This happens in homes, yes, but it
should be happening in schools, too. We need to provide resources for
people who are at their wits' end raising children alone, or while
struggling with their own issues. We would need to study “the
system” extensively in order to develop such a plan, but I feel
confident that it could be done – if we are willing to try. If we
are brave enough to give the new system some time to work. If we are
willing to take some control of, and some responsibility for, our own
protection and defense. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I am, but I can't do it
alone. If the majority of Americans would rather be safe than free,
at some point our children, or their children, won't be either one.</span></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-37693153787293957682012-12-14T19:02:00.002-08:002012-12-14T19:02:44.230-08:00Sympathy and Outrage Make People a Little Crazy...<div style="text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 150%; text-indent: 0.26in;">I will not deny that the
recent shooting at the elementary school in Connecticut was a
terrible, terrible tragedy. All shootings are tragedies and doubly so
when children are affected – whether it be violence against them,
their friends, or those on whom they depend. Nevertheless, some of
the things I've seen posted on Facebook, in shared sympathy, are kind
of ridiculous.</span><br />
</span><br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">One person suggested that
companies should not launch any funny or lighthearted advertising
campaigns this weekend, because “now is not the time”. I
understand not wanting to diminish the pain of the people who are
trying to deal with what happened, but there really isn't anything we
can do to make it better. It's over and done with, and even though
they'll be living with the results for a long time, there's nothing
we can do to retrospectively prevent it. Taking away
anything that could possibly cause laughter would only serve to bring
the rest of us down, too. Besides, they'll be depending on the
emotional support of people they know and love. The rest of us are
strangers and I'm sure they could care less if we go on living our
lives. I guarantee they aren't thinking about strangers right now. </span>
</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">And who knows? Maybe some of
them will need a little break from all the heartache and a funny
commercial could help them get through this horrible time. I believe
that we, as strangers, have no right to impede on their personal
tragedy. Who are we to say what would make their suffering better or
worse? </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">The other thing I've seen is
regarding gun control laws. No one has specified exactly what it is
they would like to see changed or tightened, but I personally would
ask for caution on this particular topic. The right to bear arms was
built into our constitution so that honest citizens could protect
themselves from criminals and from overbearing governments – it is
the one freedom which guarantees all other freedoms – if we
(meaning honest citizens) have the guts to use it when necessary. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">This seems like common sense
to me, but maybe people don't realize that criminals, by definition,
break the law. Any gun control law - any law at all - can only govern the way honest
people act. I don't profess to have a perfect solution, but no action is
better than counterproductive action. Making it more difficult for
“good” people to get guns will limit their ability to protect
other innocents from “bad” people.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">I think the best thing we can
do to protect ourselves and our children is learn how to identify and
neutralize a potential threat. That defense takes many forms. Early
identification of mental health issues and providing parenting support to
families are incredibly important. (<a href="http://web.mit.edu/workplacecenter/docs/Full%20Report.pdf">Research showsthat for every tax dollar spent on early childhood education, up to thirteen dollars are saved later, because those children are far less likely to end up in the penal system, or to depend on government assistance.</a>)</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">Of course, sometimes issues
aren't due to a lack in the person's upbringing, but rather an
imbalance of chemicals in the brain, or some trauma that caregivers
were unable to prevent. It's probable that there are other reasons
for mental instability leading to dangerous anti-social behavior. </span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.26in;">
<span style="font-family: Century Gothic, sans-serif;">That's where other forms of
defense come into play. Knowledge of self defense techniques and a
reasonable amount of vigilance can help us change the odds if a
terrible situation comes up. Even if the techniques are never used,
the confidence brought by knowing them can help keep people from
panicking, and they might be able to make more effective choices. I
don't assume that my ideas would prevent every single tragedy from
occurring (in fact, I think some tragedies will occur no matter how
well we protect ourselves), but I think they would be far more
productive than the other ideas that I've seen floating around.</span></div>
</span></div>
Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-85186481313623842002012-11-12T14:35:00.001-08:002012-11-12T14:35:18.331-08:00Recommending Another Awesome BlogOne of my favorite blogs, Penniless Parenting, is doing a giveaway and I want to win! I also want other people to know how awesome the blog is. This post is a way to do both - by sharing info about Penniless Parenting's giveaway I get entered to win, and I get to tell my readers to check it out, too. But don't win, okay? That's supposed to be me :D<br />
Now, this feels kind of like cheating because no one actually reads my blog yet, but I will try to make it better by posting this to my Facebook page, too. That is all!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-80405250352982334682012-11-06T15:05:00.000-08:002012-11-06T15:05:17.958-08:00Thoughts on the Sacred and the EroticI just read a blog post from PhD in Parenting, which addressed <a href="http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/01/27/covering-up-is-a-feminist-issue/">the meaning of "discreet"</a> in terms of dress whilst breastfeeding. <a href="http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/01/27/covering-up-is-a-feminist-issue/#comment-35432">One of the comments brought up the dichotomy between the sacred/holy and the erotic/sexy</a>. I don't believe it was intended for that to be the focus of the comment, more that it was an offhand explanation of his personal preferences/opinion.<br />
But it made me think.<br />
<br />
Why <i>do </i>we have that dichotomy? Why is that a part of our culture? A part, it seems, of many human cultures - though I'm not traveled enough to speak from experience.<br />
<br />
For me, the erotic without the sacred (at least in company) is pretty much blasphemy. I mean, if you need to take care of things yourself, by all means do so. Biology has to have a say, too. But the act of lovemaking is, to me, the giving of oneself fully, and the accepting of another. Fully.<br />
<br />
It is a closeness, a bonding, a love and a joy so deep that <i>another human being can be created out of it</i>.<br />
<br />
That's really not something to be taken lightly, or diminished. In fact, there is no closer experience that two adult human beings can share, and it is, therefore, one of the most sacred things that human beings can experience. At least, to me it is. The only thing I can think of that could possibly rival it is the carrying and birthing of a child - but that's another discussion altogether.<br />
<br />That's why I can't understand people who say, "it's just sex." Is it? Do you <i>really </i>believe that? If you do, then I truly hope you have some other means of experiencing the depth which lovemaking creates within those of us who feel otherwise. Those of us who consider it sacred.<br />
<br />
I suppose one could argue that I'm just parroting back what mothers have been telling their daughters for years - the standard party line they give in school sex ed classes. I remember the silly paper hearts they made us tear up and try to tape back together.<br />
<br />
But somehow, it seems like those lectures missed the point. Maybe it's because they focused on trying to avoid the sacred along with the blasphemous. Maybe it's because sacred is defined differently by every human being. Or, maybe, it's because they try to emphasize the value of "saving it" without really acknowledging the value of "giving it". Because, really, what they're thinking about is teen pregnancies and STDs. While those are important topics and also not to be taken lightly, they overlook the depth and meaning that sex should always include.<br /><br />
As I said once before, biology has to have its place. But, because we're human, the psyche does, too. When we separate what was meant to work together, and stripping away the most valuable part, that is when the beautiful and sacred becomes dirty. Why would we do that to ourselves?<br /><br />Why can't the erotic also be the sacred? And if it hasn't been in the past, why not give ourselves back that power? No one can take it from us. We can only deny ourselves, and that strikes me as a particularly foolish thing to do.<br />
<br />
I don't know exactly how I will talk about this with my daughters, when I have them. But I do know that there won't be any paper hearts, and I'm pretty sure that we'll talk about it before biology starts to get pushy.<br /><br />
Most importantly, I know that I will never devalue the act of lovemaking.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure how this ended up being a post about sex education. All I really meant to say is that the erotic <i>is </i>the sacred. The only way to make it otherwise is to intentionally strip from it everything worth having.Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-86741772607170490032012-07-06T21:46:00.003-07:002012-07-06T21:46:40.224-07:00Awesome and Getting Awesome-rNo matter how mature/knowledgeable/wise we get, we can always learn more, right? I figure, everyone has something to work on even when they're already awesome. And frankly, how many of us actually <b>believe </b>we're awesome, even when others tell us we are? So here are some things that I'm working on right now, and maybe you are too. Or maybe you've already got these things down, and you're working on other stuff - I know I don't have much of a following yet (haha, last time I checked it was ZERO! It's a new blog) but hey, you're reading it now! So tell me what <b>you're</b> working on, if you want, in the comments.<br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><div>
<span style="font-size: large;">My list:</span><div>
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">actually making an effort to meet someone fantastic instead of just bemoaning that my job doesn't offer opportunities to do so.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">not being self conscious, and just having fun.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">not leaving crafty messes behind me (or any other sort, but we'll start there, haha).</span></li>
<li>cutting out refined foods as much as possible, and not eating gluten. Possibly avoiding corn again too.</li>
<li>Saying yes when invited to go somewhere or do something, even if it's out of my comfort zone.</li>
<li>knowing what my time is worth and how I want to spend it. (see bullets 1, 2 and 5, lol)</li>
</ul>
<div>
And I think that's a good starting place. It sounds like a lot, but some of them I already have a good handle on and some are just a matter of letting go of my inner control freak! Too bad I can't keep it around just for the mess aspect, right? <br />So here's to always getting better and yet still believing we're awesome!</div>
</div>
</div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-18713773459174975122012-07-04T19:53:00.001-07:002012-07-04T19:53:45.003-07:00Online Dating... Um, Yeah...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, so I spent most of the day with a very happy married couple and when you're single... well... that can be hard. Don't get me wrong, I really like both of them and had a lot of fun. All the same, I decided it was time to renew my online dating presence. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The History:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I despised the idea of online dating for a looooooong time, but as a teacher I don't necessarily meet a lot of single guys, you know? Plus, at the time I started I had just moved to Denver for the summer and had no friends here and nothing to occupy my time. I was lonely and bored... so I sucked it up and wrote a profile. I chatted with a few guys, and met exactly one guy in person. He wasn't the only guy I talked to, but he definitely took the cake. He suggested (on our first and only date) that since I was going to be away from Denver for nine months, he could get me pregnant before I left and I would be back just in time to have the baby. Ummm... yeah... no. I do of course want children and I'm definitely feeling the tick of my biological clock, but really?! 1) I don't know you well enough to even consider kissing you, let alone having a baby with you. 2) Why on earth would I want to be away from the father of my child during my first pregnancy, when a girl really needs support from her significant other? And 3) That would have been me getting pregnant after knowing the father for only two months. I'm not that desperate. Plus I want to be married before I have children, and I'm not going to marry you within two months. After saying something like that, I'm not going to marry you ever.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, after that, you probably understand why I made my profile invisible and took a break from the online dating thing. Although actually it was because I met someone through the aforementioned married friend (which didn't work out). But it totally could have been because of crazy guys like that.<br />Anyway... when I renewed this profile and made it visible again, I did a quick search for guys in the area where I normally live, as opposed to Denver where I am just for another month or so. Saw some interesting profiles, too. And this, finally, is the point of this post. I have decided that some of these are interesting enough to share with other people. Take this one, for example:</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Relaxed, stable married man (please don't judge, the wife knows I'm here and doing this), gainfully employed, own my own vehicle looking for no strings attached fun. I'm in a happy marriage , just looking for someone to have fun with every now and then to spice things up. Will provide pictures upon request."</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Or how about these?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Under the "seeking" heading:<span style="color: blue;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"A woman ages 18 to 59"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Under the interests heading: </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I actually like the notebook"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: purple; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">riding bikes in Walmart (haha)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Under the "About Me" heading:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="color: blue;">My rap name is ''TIGHTY WHITEY'' </span></span>
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These I actually thought were funny in a good way: </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"y<span style="background-color: white;">ou can check out my facebook if you want to cyber-stalk me. [facebook address]</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are a stalker, would you please go through my postal mail and throw away all the junk? Thanks in advance creepy woman."</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"> "I am also afraid of spiders and I hate smug people</span><img border="0" src="http://ddmhvd4zchn5e.cloudfront.net/s/Frown.gif" style="text-align: -webkit-auto;" /><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"> my personal hell would be making love to a smug spider </span><img border="0" src="http://ddmhvd4zchn5e.cloudfront.net/s/Frown.gif" style="text-align: -webkit-auto;" />"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So yeah... there are some interesting ones out there. We'll see if I meet anyone awesome, though. Wish me luck! (Typed "lick" by accident, boy am I glad I caught that before I hit "post"! Please don't wish me lick.)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, and you might be interested to know that "tighty whitey" winked at me while I was writing this post.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-29901674168118205332012-07-02T19:07:00.001-07:002012-07-02T19:07:39.276-07:00Decorative Frame (Semi-Tutorial)<div style="text-align: center;">
This is a one of the decorated frames I made last summer when I was in another state and homesick for my friends. If you don't like any of the pre-matted frames, you can also buy photo mats there and pair them with whichever frame you do like. I'm linking this one up to the <a href="http://dollarstorecrafts.com/2012/07/link-up-for-the-5-craft-challenge/">Dollar Store Crafts</a> contest, too.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXRX8YX1_nxjgF3YbqI8VfszNyYRSQtOHeQ2NdggOVhpSe8AggjFYF43acfZzh6xmVnON3vgKOmkMSQ7DiPkpgyWgKY6-LOJCd0RErqk6K9U-X1OZfWj-gV7AiHMNA0QZx-vrJTX4R8mc/s1600/DSCN6965.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXRX8YX1_nxjgF3YbqI8VfszNyYRSQtOHeQ2NdggOVhpSe8AggjFYF43acfZzh6xmVnON3vgKOmkMSQ7DiPkpgyWgKY6-LOJCd0RErqk6K9U-X1OZfWj-gV7AiHMNA0QZx-vrJTX4R8mc/s320/DSCN6965.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Materials:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A pre-matted frame</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A set (or two) of letter stickers</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(I used the kind for your wall)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Several matching dot stickers</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(from my stash but I'm sure they have some that would work at the dollar store)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A piece of black poster board</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A photograph </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(the Dollar Tree sells photo paper in two sizes)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
This was super simple. First I decided what picture to use and what message would match it. My photo was smaller than the matting because I got it off of Facebook, so I backed it with a piece of black poster board that I cut to size. I was disappointed at first but now I really like the way it looks! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I spelled out my message on the glass, re-positioning the letters as needed. Since they're the kind for your wall, they were really easy to move around until I got the placement just right.</div>
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Finally I used silver dot stickers that I got on clearance to decorate the corners. I actually made five of these and arranged them together on my wall - it turned out looking awesome!</div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-32540221096261253472012-07-02T18:48:00.002-07:002012-07-02T18:48:54.159-07:00Carpet Saver (Semi-Tutorial)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
If you have cats you may recognize the purpose if this right away; cats HATE to be locked in or out of a room and they often will scratch at the carpet to try to get out. I don't think they're stupid enough to think they can tunnel out... I actually think they're so smart they know if they damage the property you'll probably do anything to get them to stop, including let them in or out!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUl_N_PaifJ-hW18fkett0j1HMdTJotU5RuTReQxELVzwfnVVL6LwaTVTpb0mGUWrzwSS3b3T5tXG8w2Y-U9jZFaJIXP4EPEuVTKM2uQnJo5TEwLCuf5YN7Va-sg0k9_T73Dkx_PvkRZQ/s1600/DSCN6961.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUl_N_PaifJ-hW18fkett0j1HMdTJotU5RuTReQxELVzwfnVVL6LwaTVTpb0mGUWrzwSS3b3T5tXG8w2Y-U9jZFaJIXP4EPEuVTKM2uQnJo5TEwLCuf5YN7Va-sg0k9_T73Dkx_PvkRZQ/s320/DSCN6961.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">This is another Dollar Store Crafts contest entry. All I did was measure the thickness of the door frame (14 cm), and it's distance from the wall (11 cm), and cut the carpet square accordingly. I found that on the inside edge it needed an angled line, so I cut from the corner to a space about a centimeter further out and it fit perfectly. Bonus: even if you have to buy EVERYTHING it will still only cost $4 plus tax! Everything is available at the Dollar Tree.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Materials:</span></div>
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An unbound carpet square</div>
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An Exacto knife</div>
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A ruler</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">A permanent marker</span></div>
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</div>Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06580482411332472270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4657875216568998196.post-56177592467481939082012-07-02T17:55:00.003-07:002012-07-02T18:33:15.549-07:00Jewelry Holder Tutorial<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white;">I created this jewelry holder for the <a href="http://dollarstorecrafts.com/2012/07/link-up-for-the-5-craft-challenge/">Dollar Store Crafts $5 or less contest</a>. Everything is from the dollar store except my tools and the E6000 glue. I bought two bags of river rocks, but I only needed to use one and still had rocks left over.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPupzNML7p5FuvOCMPP_fTSx3MwLiBCghFOoxIJuZgbk5DjqYZzHxbHOHW3rfjjZRsycySy7sZh1c6ic4Gau15RUWhwlP5-uIwDUlQOS8xBJ_88KxJG9c5H9PhXfcO2bjplzxTtpBP0z0/s1600/DSCN6944.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPupzNML7p5FuvOCMPP_fTSx3MwLiBCghFOoxIJuZgbk5DjqYZzHxbHOHW3rfjjZRsycySy7sZh1c6ic4Gau15RUWhwlP5-uIwDUlQOS8xBJ_88KxJG9c5H9PhXfcO2bjplzxTtpBP0z0/s200/DSCN6944.JPG" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkALbJUMQo9hrgIXza7EDHIYv_5F_tgpFsdm-BMidHo6Luv0Pr4CUC6CH8LMMZHGir5bh4HRoM7mmiU59s8lr7KRikCui7HHTpwCm4rBD2AVcUveGYILF4uKQhtfszDGpKUi6zrQxPoE8/s1600/DSCN6960.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkALbJUMQo9hrgIXza7EDHIYv_5F_tgpFsdm-BMidHo6Luv0Pr4CUC6CH8LMMZHGir5bh4HRoM7mmiU59s8lr7KRikCui7HHTpwCm4rBD2AVcUveGYILF4uKQhtfszDGpKUi6zrQxPoE8/s200/DSCN6960.JPG" width="150" /></a><br />
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Materials:</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white;">a slender clear glass vase </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">a medium sized clear glass plate </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">a bag of river rocks or flattened marbles </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">a roll of craft wire</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">a tube of E6000 glue or equivalent</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">a pair of round nosed pliers</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">a pair of wire cutters</span></div>
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The first thing I did was take off all the stickers and fill up the vase with river rocks. I made sure that the rocks went all the way to the top, but not even a little bit over. If they go above the top you won't be able to get a clean attachment when you glue on the plate later. </div>
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Next, I glued the rocks onto the plate. This was the most time consuming part of the project, both the placement and waiting for the glue to dry. I did only a few at a time because I wanted to make sure the glue didn't dry before I got to the end. Then I carefully glued it on top of the vase.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxt8iQU9cE72urJaf33V-cLNQ9mw3wvJSbpFwddJqvBYps1fjdQhYhUrnhJkXrAbvrYVVtPMB4gCJLaEnr6sKg5Qh_Sx-_PCYtNkp8UqEu7WzUt6IKXHzF_Ljpu9fT5padSwY6L8EWuWQ/s1600/DSCN6950.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC2-dwwaQG4oU49Qxugt5zT34fq2l8BMRAa5oUhM0e925RcNNvWFM1XdagV8C-s9d5qV3sLhUPqiDbe1jVkBVAb9TMqLwhyphenhyphent6l5wQD1Z9Y43l2vVU8cUj91u5Kw7LcA-f7-h9NBDI6NoE/s1600/triple2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="102" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC2-dwwaQG4oU49Qxugt5zT34fq2l8BMRAa5oUhM0e925RcNNvWFM1XdagV8C-s9d5qV3sLhUPqiDbe1jVkBVAb9TMqLwhyphenhyphent6l5wQD1Z9Y43l2vVU8cUj91u5Kw7LcA-f7-h9NBDI6NoE/s400/triple2.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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While I was waiting for the glue to dry, I bent the wire that goes around the bottom of the plate. First I measured it to about twice the circumference of the plate; you can measure along the outside of the plate if you want but I just eyeballed it. Using the round nosed pliers, bend a tight corner about two inches from the end of the wire. The wire should be folded over itself. Bend the two pieces away from each other about an inch up, and make four or five more in the same way. <span style="background-color: white;">Turn the folds into hooks by bending them sideways into a nice hook shape. Finally, fold the two ends over each other and bend them back to make two interlocked hooks.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> I think the pictures are easier to understand:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0WV0MaCl10Tiz0eqTtG_tNWIWxQvTE4B_dqyw4HVC5XqzlXmElW5jYSZ4ImiCEjymI2Z0e7tzXCALclgs7Bspgt1CgrDghhGcpJA8s5phQ00q4-xNU0KrGEJMVQhcETD0p7EtlxumNb4/s1600/triple1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="100" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0WV0MaCl10Tiz0eqTtG_tNWIWxQvTE4B_dqyw4HVC5XqzlXmElW5jYSZ4ImiCEjymI2Z0e7tzXCALclgs7Bspgt1CgrDghhGcpJA8s5phQ00q4-xNU0KrGEJMVQhcETD0p7EtlxumNb4/s400/triple1.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSGGz1oKCtFDAL0GbbVCfrK4lhlr13qklYt43HBclonp7KJ5oKyYHwhFBn7Fu-qrjhdd_U3nTCKDdd8KXKqb-KD_ZTRihND-bDoSC4N2Q9PlSVktVSEDYPs29QJfgQj7k4c-DNTFnQ3m4/s1600/DSCN6959.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSGGz1oKCtFDAL0GbbVCfrK4lhlr13qklYt43HBclonp7KJ5oKyYHwhFBn7Fu-qrjhdd_U3nTCKDdd8KXKqb-KD_ZTRihND-bDoSC4N2Q9PlSVktVSEDYPs29QJfgQj7k4c-DNTFnQ3m4/s200/DSCN6959.JPG" width="200" /></a>Once the glue was dry I turned the whole thing upside down (carefully! It's heavy from all those rocks!) and slid the wire over the vase. I centered it and pressed it flat against the vase, then used copious amounts of glue under it and on both sides of the wire. As soon as it dries you can hang your jewelry on it! I use the top for chunky jewelry and hair clips that won't get lost among the rocks and the hooks for earrings and more delicate bracelets and necklaces.
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